


arm's length

by bluelines



Category: Hockey RPF, Women's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 13:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11852361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluelines/pseuds/bluelines
Summary: Meghan has a crush on her cute TA and her friends are determined to get her to do something about it.





	arm's length

“I cannot believe you have a thing for our TA,” Kacey says. She’s lying on the ground with her legs up on Meghan’s bed, and Meghan reaches over to pull one of Kacey’s socks off and throw it across the room, where it lands on Kacey’s bed.

“Get your nasty feet off my bed,” Meghan says, “I’m trying to make an outline.”

“To impress our TA,” Kacey says, “since you sit in the front of the class already. I mean, you’re running out of ways to be a bigger teacher’s pet.”

“Our _hot_ TA,” Meghan says. 

“She’s not that hot,” Kacey counters, and Meghan peels off her other sock.

-

Gillian is, as far as Meghan is concerned, the hottest girl on campus.

She’s spent the first month and a half of the semester gathering as much information about Gillian as she possibly can, while Kacey sits behind her and puts little shreds of college-ruled paper down the back of her shirt. 

Gillian is a second-year graduate student getting her master’s in social psychology. She’s four years older than Meghan, which is just older enough to feel totally insurmountable and to put Gillian in a completely different league. She seems to own exactly five sweaters of varying colors. From looking at them, Meghan thinks they’re probably varying levels of softness, but she’s not willing to commit to that yet. She had chin-length brown hair that she’s constantly pushing out of her face and on her guest lecture day she made even recidivism rates sound complex and interesting and important.

And Meghan has a huge crush.

“You could literally take your pick of anyone on the basketball team,” Brianna says. Meghan pretends as if she can’t hear over the din of the cafeteria, but they all know better. Brianna’s said it a hundred times, anyway. 

“Seriously,” Brianna says, “I have this on good authority, any single one of them would do you.”

“I don’t want to be _done_ ,” Meghan says, and Kacey snorts.

“That’s true,” she says, reaching over Brianna for some napkins, “you want to do someone. A particular someone.”

There’s a red spot steadily bruising on Kacey’s shoulder, and when she stretches her arm out it’s very visible. 

“Nice hickey,” she says, nodding at the spot.

“Thanks,” Brianna says, “I made that myself.”

“God dammit,” Kacey says, reaching to her shoulder, “again, asshole? Seriously?’

Meghan feels safe in assuming that they’ve moved on from her own love life, or lack thereof. Not that Brianna or Kacey would ever admit that they’re sort of dating. They’re dating enough that Meghan has had the misfortune of walking in on them more than once, but at least it was never in _her_ bed. She’s watching them wrestle over Kacey’s last fry when she catches sight of Gillian at the top of the stairs, a stack of books under her arm. She’s holding a paper cup precariously in her mouth, with the lip between her teeth.

Meghan blinks, and both Brianna and Kacey crane around to see where she’s looking. She doesn’t even get the chance to tell them not to make it so obvious before Gillian turns to walk their way, but it takes her another second to recognize Meghan. She smiles around the cup and almost drops it before she reaches up to take it with her free hand.

“Hey,” Gillian says.

“Hey,” Meghan replies, trying for casual.

“Did you lose your backpack?” Kacey asks, and Meghan kicks her under the table. Gillian laughs, though, and Meghan thinks it might be the first time she’s heard it. It’s definitely the first time, because she would have remembered. Gillian’s laugh is deep and full, like her voice, and Meghan’s afraid that she might be blushing.

“No,” Gillian says, “I usually carry a messenger bag, but I left it home today so I have to walk around like a high schooler all afternoon.”

“You don’t look like a high schooler,” Meghan mumbles. Brianna muffles a half-laugh half-cough into her shoulder. Gillian smiles kindly at Meghan as if she hasn’t just stuck her foot so far back in her mouth that she could kick out her own wisdom teeth.

“I’ll see you guys around,” Gillian says. Meghan doesn’t watch her leave. She studies the carrots left on her plate intently instead. To Brianna and Kacey’s credit, they wait until Gillian is gone to crack up, Brianna dropping her face into her hands on the table, and Kacey leaning back to wheeze the air back into her lungs.

“Holy shit,” Kacey says, “holy shit, Meghan. You are so fucked.”

-

Gillian hands out their first tests the next day. The professor is at the front of the room writing something on the board, but Meghan isn’t watching. She’s watching Gillian instead, jogging her leg up and down.

“You should start pretending to fail so you can go to office hours,” Kacey says into her ear.

“Maybe I’ll just go with you,” Meghan replies, turning over her shoulder, “since you probably are.”

“I have a solid B average,” Kacey replies, and Meghan pulls a face. She’s so busy doing it that Gillian catches her by surprise when she places the test in front of Meghan on her desk.

“Not bad,” Gillian says. It’s a 96. She’s drawn a smiley face next to the grade. “Before you know it you’ll be stealing my job,” Gillian adds. Her hand is still on Meghan’s desk, and before Meghan looks away she notices too many details. Gillian has long, slender fingers, and a nice watch, and one little freckle next to her thumb. She’s not sure what to say. She smiles at Gillian, and Gillian moves on.

-

They’ve stopped asking her if she’s going to do anything about it and moved onto assuming that she will. Meghan is simultaneously a little proud of the fact that they think she has the guts and a little terrified of the fact that she _has_ to try to make a move now that her friends have decided she’s going to. There has to be a plan. She refuses to walk in blind.

“Honestly,” Kacey says, “I would rather die than go to her office.”

“It’s probably barely an office,” Meghan says, “but I can help you, if you’d rather--”

“No,” Kacey groans, “if I have to hear you explain spurious relationships I’m going to drop out of the class. I’ll just go to office hours.”

“I can come for moral support,” Meghan offers. And really, at least half of it is genuine. She would go anywhere with Kacey, if Kacey needed her.

“By all means,” Kacey grins, looking up from her desk over to Meghan’s, feet away, “come make googly eyes at Gillian while I beg her to give me the extra half a point on this stupid test.”

That’s how Meghan ends up in the hallway outside Gillian’s cramped little office with Kacey, waiting for Derek to get done with his own questions. She’s sort of half listening, mostly to Gillian’s voice, which is calm and friendly and makes Meghan have to shift her weight from foot to foot.

“Have you ever hung out with students outside of class?” Derek asks, and Kacey turns to give Meghan a significant look. “A couple of us do trivia on Thursdays. We suck but you’re like, way smart. Plus the groups with girls always get more points in the bonus round.”

Meghan strains to hear, now. Gillian’s answer will at least help her confirm her suspicions. Mainly that Gillian has never touched a guy in her life.

“You know,” Gillian says, “that’s really nice of you to invite me. Seriously. But ah, I wouldn’t want to give you the wrong idea. You’re a good guy. I’m just not...you know. It’s not my thing.”

“Trivia?” Derek asks, and Kacey bites her lips, trying to hold back a smile. Meghan’s stomach flips when she really processes what Gillian is trying to say, but unlike Kacey she can’t keep the grin off of her face.

“Guys,” Gillian says, “I’m pretty decent at trivia.”

There’s a few seconds of silence. Kacey digs her elbow into Meghan’s side.

“Oh,” Derek says. “Oh, I got it. Okay. Yeah, wow. That’s cool though. You can definitely still come if you want. We could for real use the help, we’re pretty bad. We go Thursdays at JB’s.”

“Alright,” Gillian says, “maybe I’ll swing by.”

Derek leaves looking a little stunned. He’s dazed enough to smile at them, which is awkward enough before Kacey even goes into the office. Meghan hesitates and decides to wait outside, considering she doesn’t have any questions for Gillian, anyway. She doesn’t want to be someone that complains about a 96, even though she thinks she could argue one of her points. 

She waits while Kacey has her questions answered, but when Kacey leaves, Gillian comes out behind her, messenger bag over one shoulder. She’s wearing the light blue sweater, the one that’s the same color as her eyes. 

“I’m gonna go to intermediate fiction,” Kacey says, smiling merrily at Meghan, “I’ll see you later.”

And just like that Meghan’s alone with Gillian in the hallway.

“I was just here for moral support,” Meghan offers.

“Well, I figured you didn’t need me,” Gillian replies. She’s kidding, turning to lock her office door, but Meghan is a little at sea. She wants to say something clever, but she can’t come up with anything, so she laughs uncomfortably instead. Gillian turns to face her, and Meghan leans against the wall a little bit, trying to look casual. She could swear that Gillian looks her up and down for half a second, but afterwards she’s not sure if she made it up or not.

“You could really pursue this stuff if you wanted to,” Gillian says. “I can tell you really get it.”

“I wouldn’t really know what to do with it,” Meghan says. When she realizes what she’s said she scrambles to fix her mistake.

“No offense,” she says, “I mean, you’re so smart--”

“I’ll probably end up teaching,” Gillian laughs, “it’s okay. I’ve kind of resigned myself to being the frumpy professor type. But there’s research stuff, too, that could be cool.”

Meghan bites her lips, but it doesn’t stop her from saying something stupid.

“You’re not frumpy,” she says, “you’d be that professor everyone has a crush on. I mean, look at Derek.”

Gillian is quiet for a few seconds. She looks like she’s thinking hard, and Meghan feels as if Gillian can see right through her, right into her brain, as if Gillian already knows exactly how she feels. It gives her actual butterflies, which she’s not sure she’s ever felt before. And so she panics.

“I might like the research stuff,” she says, for lack of anything else to say.

“Oh,” Gillian says, “I totally know people I can put you in touch with if you wanted an internship or something this summer. Here,” she continues, reaching into her messenger bag and pulling out a scraggly post-it and a pen, “here’s my number, you can text me and I’ll send you their contacts so you can drop them a line, if you want.”

Meghan takes the post-it. It’s not until she’s back in her room that she realizes Gillian could just have emailed her.

-

Once they start texting Meghan starts doubting herself. At first it’s just things about research that make Meghan actually end up interested in it, but they end up talking about other things, like Meghan’s major (human anthropology), where Gillian went to college (a little liberal arts school in Vermont that Meghan’s never heard of) and even Derek’s trivia team. In person things are pretty much the same, except that in class Meghan always feels like she’s in on some kind of secret. The person she texts and the person she sees sitting at the front of her classroom don’t really seem like the same person. 

It’s hard to believe Gillian is the girl that was joking with her over text the night before.

“I just don’t understand why she’s talking to me,” she admits later.

“Because you’re cute,” Kacey says, “and she’s gay.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”

Kacey rolls her eyes. It’s almost Thanksgiving break, but Kacey can only pack two shirts at a time before she has to sit down to complain, and Meghan hasn’t even started packing at all. Gillian hasn’t texted her in a day, but Meghan’s not sure what to say to start another conversation. She’s not sure if she should, or if she’s pushing it.

“Okay,” Kacey says, “well, when she asks you out, let me know that I was right.”

-

**Happy American Thanksgiving :)**   
_you mean regular thanksgiving?_   
**semantics. When are you back on campus?**   
_sunday night, why?_   
**I’m going to derek’s trivia thing on Tuesday and I was wondering if you wanted to join me.**   
**heard the groups with cute girls get extra points in the bonus round :)**   
_I’ll be there :)_

-

They end up really needing the bonus points.

“I promise you,” Meghan says, “it’s Bolivia and Peru. I promise. I remember the song from like fourth grade.”

The boys aren’t listening to her. They’re too busy laughing over Lake Titicaca to listen to her.

“Here,” Gillian says, reaching across the table to grab the pad out of Derek’s hand, “I’ll write it down.”

It’s one of the only answers they get right all night, but it’s a good night anyway. Gillian is so different like this that Meghan keeps being surprised. She’s wearing a new sweater, or at least one Meghan hasn’t seen before, and she laughs a lot more than Meghan would have guessed. Her smile is wide and toothy and Meghan wants badly to kiss her when she’s not stunned by the fact that she’s there with _Gillian_. 

Outside, Meghan hesitates. Somehow she knows she won’t have the guts to kiss Gillian, knows that the best she can do is glance at Gillian’s lips and pretend she’s brave enough. Gillian takes a step closer to her, and Meghan’s heart skips a beat, but she doesn’t move away. 

“I always thought you were cute,” Gillian admits. 

“Me too,” Meghan says, somehow, past the surprise and a blush so hot she’s sure Gillian can see it even outside in the dark. Gillian’s smile changes, softens into something Meghan has never seen before. She leans in, and it hits Meghan all at once that Gillian is going to kiss her and she’d better be cool about it.

She is not cool about it. She reaches blindly for Gillian to steady herself and ends up sort of grabbing Gillian’s sweater, which is exactly as soft as she expected. Gillian’s smile grows, then drops, and before Meghan has time to prepare herself, Gillian is kissing her.

And she’s kissing Gillian back.


End file.
